hiyami (hiyami) wrote,

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King Kong

So I finally watched Peter Jackson's "King Kong". Probably Frank Cho's favorite movie.

review with spoilers

Because it has giant apes, dinosaurs and boobies.

Well, Naomi Watts is not terribly endowed in the boobies department, but still, that counts. She looks amazingly like Nicole Kidman.

So it's a fact, Peter Jackson is really good at filming spectacular. Spectacular monsters, spectacular landscapes, spectacular fights.

In terms of screenwriting, though, he sucks donkey balls. Or monkey balls, in that case. It makes my head hurt that they were 3 to write that "script".

The movie was 20 minutes of setting the plot and the characters, followed by 2 hours of chases, fights, new giant creatures, and last minute rescues, all more unbelievable than the previous ones, and ending with 40 minutes of leading the ape to its known fate.
I suspect that PJ has been given access to the databank of all the CGI creatures created before him and decided to put as many of them on the screen as possible. Like a kid pulling together all his toys along with his sister's Barbie doll. Plot? What plot?

And if you're going to make a movie just to line up CGI monsters, try to make the whole thing a wee bit more realistic. Why did Kong shake Ann like that when he first got her? And why didn't her spine snap? Because... Yeah, CGI does wonder, but physics laws and anatomics still stands true.
They're not even that good...
And it's another evidence (along with the Star Wars prequels) that giving full control to a director is a BAD idea...

I'm not sure I've seen the original King Kong flick, so I don't know how much of this one came from it...
The whole part on the boat reminded me of "Titanic" (from the machinery's shots up to Naomi Watts dancing), and Kong falling from the Empire State Building even made me think of, hum, the scene where a frozen Jack sinks into the ocean with Rose crying over his death. I know it's not a popular opinion right now, but I still find it easier to feel for Leonardo DiCaprio than for a giant ape. I never liked monkeys much. They're too much like humans, and not the best part of it...

Jack Driscoll, for some reason, made me think that Adrien Brody would be fine to play Neil Gaiman if there was ever a movie requiring it.

Best line of the movie :
"Actors. They travel around the world, all they see is their mirror".

The director's character was really dislikeable. Too bad he didn't get killed off.

The Red Shirts introduced just long enough that we should care a bit when they died later were... well, it didn't work on me. I have a nagging suspicion that PJ is going to release a 6-hours long version that will contain scenes developing all those characters that seem to be there for a reason but only exist as cardboard figures. Apart from giving a job to Andy Serkis where he shows his face, that is.

I'm glad I finally saw Jamie Bell on screen. Though his part was... Like the rest.

I don't know, when I have to write about "utilitarian" characters, I feel it's a waste of time to flesh them out too much. It takes time over the character development of the ones who matter (though frankly, even the leads didn't get that much CD here, for a movie that long...).
Besides, "people are not snowflakes". Really. Not everyone has to be quirky or odd, or so "square" that he's a living stereotype.

I wonder what happened to the Captain's character... he was nifty. The actor, Thomas Kretschmann, wasn't bad either (well, it was a pop-corn movie, so ogling the eye candy really is all there is to it, right?).

The "feral child" annoyed me, because the girl looked like an artificially blackened white girl. And ooooh, she actually is. Well, more or less. Jacinta Wawatai.

I think it's the first time I've seen Kyle Chandler (from "that TV show with a cat and the newspaper from tomorrow" fame) on screen in something different. His part had more surprises than I thought, for a comic relief one.
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